Northern Farmer: Old Style

Wheer 'asta beän saw long and meä liggin' 'ere aloän? Noorse? thoort nowt o' a noorse: whoy, Doctor's abeän an' agoän; Says that I moänt 'a naw moor aäle; but I beänt a fool; Git ma my aäle, fur I beänt a-gawin' to breäk my rule. Doctors, they knaws nowt, fur a says what 's nawways true; Naw soort o' koind o' use to saäy the things that a do. I 've 'ed my point o' aäle ivry noight sin' I beän 'ere. An' I 've 'ed my quart ivry market-noight for foorty year. Parson 's a beän loikewoise, an' a sittin' ere o' my bed. "The amoighty 's a taäkin o' you to 'isén, my friend," a said, An' a towd ma my sins, an' s toithe were due, an' I gied it in hond; I done moy duty boy 'um, as I 'a done boy the lond. Larn'd a ma' beä. I reckons I 'annot sa mooch to larn. But a cast oop, thot a did, 'bout Bessy Marris's barne. Thaw a knaws I hallus voäted wi' Squoire an' choorch an' staäte, An' i' the woost o' toimes I wur niver agin the raäte. An' I hallus coom'd to 's choorch afoor moy Sally wur deäd, An' 'eard 'um a bummin' awaäy loike a buzzard-clock ower me 'eäd, An' I niver knaw'd whot a meän'd but a thowt ä 'ad summut to saäy. An' I thowt a said what a owt to 'a said, an' I coom'd awaäy. Bessy Marris's barne! tha knaws she laäid it to meä. Mowt a beän, mayhap, for she wur a bad un, sheä. 'Siver, I kep 'um, I kep 'um, my lass, tha mun understond; I done moy duty boy 'um, as I 'a done boy the lond. But Parson a cooms an' a goäs, an' a says it easy an' freeä: "The amoighty 's taäkin o' you to 'issén, my friend," says 'eä. I weänt saäy men be loiars, thaw summun said it in 'aäste; But 'e reäds wonn sarmin a weeäk, an' I 'a stubb'd Thurnaby waäste. D' ya moind the waäste, my lass? naw, naw, tha was not born then; Theer wur a boggle in it, I often 'eärd 'um mysén; Moäst loike a butter-bump, fur I 'eärd 'um about an' about, But I stubb'd 'um oop wi' the lot, an' raäved an' rembled 'um out. Keäper's it wur; fo' they fun 'um theer a-laäid of is' faäce Down i' the woild 'enemies afoor I coom'd to the plaäce. Noäks or Thimbleby--toäner 'ed shot 'um as dead as a naäil. Noäks wur 'ang'd for it opp at 'soize--but git ma my aäle. Dubbut looök at the waäaste; theer warn't not feeäd for a cow; Nowt at all but bracken an' fuzz, an' looök at it now-- Warn't worth nowt a haäcre, an' now theer 's lots o' feeäd, Fourscoor yows upon it, an' some on it down i' seeäd. Nobbut a bit on it 's left, an' I meän'd to 'a stubb'd it at fall, Done it ta-year I meän'd, an' runn'd plow thruff it an' all, If godamoighty an' parson 'ud nobbut let ma aloän,-- Meä, wi haäte hoonderd haäcre o' Squoire's, an' lond o' my oän. Do godamoighty knaw what a's doing a-taäkin' o' meä? I beänt wonn as saws 'ere a beän an yonder a peä; An' Squoire 'ull be sa mad an' all--a' dear, a' dear! And I 'a managed for Squoire coom Michaelmas thutty year. A mowt 'a taäen owd Joänes, as 'ant not a 'aäpoth o' sense, Or a mowt a' taäen young Robins--a niver mended a fence: But godamoighty a moost taäke meä an' taäke ma now, Wi' aäf the cows to cauve an' Thurnaby hoälms to plow! Looök 'ow quoloty smoiles when they seeäs ma a passin' boy, Says to thessén, naw doubt, "What a man a beä sewer-loy!" Fur they knaws what I beän to Squoire sin' fust a coom'd to the 'All; I done moy duty by Squoire an' I done moy duty boy hall. Squoire 's i' Lunnon, an' summun I reckons 'ull 'a to wroite, For whoa 's to howd the lond ater meä that muddles ma quoit; Sartin-sewer I beä, thot a weänt niver give it to Joänes, Naw, nor a moänt to Robins--a niver rembles the stoäns. But summun 'ull come ater meä mayhap wi' 'is kittle o' steäm Huzzin' an' maazin' the blessed feälds wi' the Divil's oän teäm. Sin' I mun doy I mun doy, thaw loife they says is sweet, But sin' I mun doy I mun doy, for I couldn abeär to see it. What atta stannin' theer fur, an' doesn bring me the aäle? Doctor 's a 'toättler, lass, an a's hallus i' the owd taäle; I weänt breäk rules fur Doctor, a knaws naw moor nor a floy; Git ma my aäle, I tell tha, an' if I mun doy I mun doy.